"roast beast"

I wasn't sure what to make for dinner tonight, but I had a couple of hours to make a "real" meal, so at 3:00, I pulled this "Pork Loin Center Loin Roast" out of my freezer.  It was a cheap roast I bought months ago (apparently back in January) and tonight was as good a night as any to cook it.

The package instructions were, well, not actually instructions on how to cook the pork.  The sticker was just a reminder to "cook thoroughly", to "keep refrigerated until ready to use", and to "wash hands after handling raw meat".

So I had to look this one up.  Fortunately, I own a "Betty Crocker Cookbook" (purchased in my early days of wedded bliss, in other words, a long time ago).  This cookbook does not contain just recipies; it's a guide for how to cook, and has helpful things, like, how to cook a pork roast.  There are actually several approved methods; I went with the fastest one, which only required 30 minutes per pound.  Since this was a 2.5 pound roast, that would require an hour and fifteen minutes.  If I put it in the oven now, it'd be done at only 4:15, which would be too early.  Luckily for me, it was frozen solid.  I thawed it using the "thaw" feature on my microwave, which is no easy feat considering that my microwave's time display is broken and I have to carefully push each button or 30 seconds could become 300 and I wouldn't know it until I burned whatever I was trying to heat.  Somehow, I thawed the pork successfully, and at 3:20, I put it in the oven. 

One of Betty Crocker's methods (I am sooo not making this up) is "The Italian Method".  In a glass baking dish, spray the roast with baking spray (as in Pam or the like), rub with garlic salt and italian seasonings, flip the roast and repeat, then bake, for 30 minutes per pound at 450 degrees.  Again, easy.  Instead of "italian seasonings", though (because I use that a lot) I went with a generic "Cajun Seasoning" (AND garlic salt, of course), which, by the way, was delicious. 

The only problem with this method was a personal one: I wanted brownies for dessert.  I already had a pack of brownie mix (Pillsbury extra thick, on sale a few weeks ago at $1.50 a box).  Unfortunately, they have to cook for 40 minutes at 350 degrees.  If I put them in after the roast was done, they would be too hot to eat at "dessert time".  If I put them in before the roast, then dinner would be delayed.  Plus, I'd already put the roast in.

 

So.... It went like this: I mixed up the brownie mix, decided to add some melted peanut butter (yum!) which I just melted in a mug in my microwave and poured on top, then ran a knife through to make that fancy pattern that people do for brownies. 

I also added some generic "chocolate-flavored chips" to half.  Notice, I didn't say "chocolate chips".  That's because these are not chocolate chips.  I bought them in error and would simply throw them out if my upbringing allowed for such wastefulness.  It does not.  So I put them on the brownies thinking "the kids will eat them".  They did, by the way.


So you may have noticed my roast was cut into three pieces up there.  There's a reason for that.  I baked it for the first 30 minutes at 450.  Then, because thinner meat bakes faster, I sliced it into three pieces, lowered the oven temp to 350, and baked the brownies for 40 minutes.  Then, I pulled them out, put the oven temp back up to 450, and cooked it for an additional 40 minutes.  It did cook all the way through, although I nuked it 3 minutes for good measure ("cook thoroughly"), and I would not recommend changing the oven temp partway through.

Now that's what I call a hot mess.

In all honesty, I only did it for the brownies (and might I add: totally worth it).








As a veggie, I served frozen broccholi, steamed in my microwave.  I used one of those generic "Steamer" packs which I found buried in my freezer along with the pork.  I can't honestly say how much it cost, but it was probably $2, since that's how much they usually cost when on sale, and I can't see myself buying one at full price, since I usually steam veggies in the microwave without a fancy bag.

The kids liked the pork roast, although I had to explain repeatedly that it was not roast beef.  And I had to do this because I quoted Dr. Suess: "He, himself, carved the roast beast".  That conversation led to an explanation of how meat comes from animals, and that there's "farm pigs" and "wild pigs" and that yes, some people do eat boar, but usually only at a big party like a luau or a ren faire.  And they really liked the pork. 

And they really, really liked the brownies.

So our total cost for tonight was: $5.85 for the pork, $2 for the broccholi, $1.50 for the brownie mix, and probably $0.50 for "extras" = $9.85